


シ in the end is him and i

by yugkookisreal



Series: singularity [6]
Category: SHINee, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gang World, Blood and Violence, Boys Kissing, Established Relationship, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Mentioned Kim Kibum | Key, Mentioned Lee Jinki | Onew, Minor Character Death, One-Sided Relationship, Park Jimin (BTS) Being an Asshole, Rough Kissing, Secrets, Tags Are Hard, Wet & Messy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 09:17:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17826014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yugkookisreal/pseuds/yugkookisreal
Summary: they are stuck in a dangerous love trainagle, jimin being in love with his childhood friend and taemin being in love with a man much older, kim jinki.the twist they needed was a dead woman.





	シ in the end is him and i

it's in the morning when he returns and jimin is waiting for him, holding the door open with a gifted knitted quilt. he's all shadows and blood, with the backdrop of the blazing sun behind him, his plump lips pulled into a frown. his designer bag is dirty, spotted with rusted crimson and browns as it hangs lifelessly on his hunched shoulders.

jimin doesn't question the muddy boots, the tattered shirt on his scarred body and a fresh slash on his cheek and hurriedly closes the door behind the older. they don't need even more trouble in their lives.

jimin's hands are still trembling, even after hours had passed since the call and he wishes he doesn't have to be bearer of bad news. but their world isn't fair.   
he drapes the quilt over taemin's shoulder, before pressing the his half drunken coffee into his hands. taemin is numb under him and jimin heart hammer uncomfortably in his chest. he has to say it, he has to.

but taemin is speaking, his face unreadable as he pulls jimin into a hug. the hold is tight, and taemin is hiccuping into his neck. he let's him, it's rare to see to him this open. "i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry", he keeps repeating it. again and again until he's stumbling over his words, arms tightening around well structured shoulders. jimin doesn't know why he's saying it.

"my mother's dead, shot in the head by some sick bastard". he whispers bitterly into his skin and jimin nods, internally sighing in relief. and instantly feeling guilty, it was not like him to be this stoic, especially when he couldn't feel any remorse for the woman who raised him, clothed him and gave the blurry eyed son of hers to him. but he couldn't say this out loud and break his heart even more.

"i'm sorry". and he shouldn't be apologising for such a thing, but he cared too much for taemin and if it meant acting like he was saddened by her death then so be it. but he knew deep down that her kind, inattentive nature had obviously lead to her death. taemin mother was too soft for this world. "now drink, you need caffeine. i'll draw us a bath, okay?".

he looks at him then, eyes red and purple and tears wet on his cheeks. but there's a shift in his emotions, he's still grieving but taemin wouldn't have gotten where he is without hiding his mother's side of innocence within him like a unknown gift and curse on him.

"you don't need to do that". he replies. his eyes are dark, challenging and begging for him to slip and let taemin punish him for that. that taemin is familiar and somehow jimin's happy he is back. "you should return back to finish your assignments".

"no need. i finished all of them and-". he let's his eyes rake over the older and instantly notices the increasingly harsher toll the life in the shadows were taking from him. even when jimin cooked enough for three people. "- you seem like you need company".

and taemin, like clockwork drops his walls and let's jimin kiss his mouth, lithe hands playing the his already mussed hair and push him towards a rickety chair.

the apartment is small, deeper in the slums with a connected foyer and a kitchen, with a bedroom with peeling and faded wallpaper and a bathroom with a loose faucet. but it's home, their home they had bought cheap in between motel stays and public parks.  
the water, clear and shimmering in the dull lights fills the bathtub and jimin undresses until he's in his thin boxers and socks. he returns to the kitchen and finds taemin naked and playing with a butcher knife.

there's always something hyponising seeing taemin play with something as dangerous as an object of death, something thrilling. turning his nerves on fire with every little emotion he has ever felt, knowing that taemin could kill him with the littlest of movements or that he would willingly come under his knife or his gun just because it's taemin.

and so he stares for a second or two at the hunched figure of his lover, looking so pathic for a second that he almost feels pity of the older man. "you want to kill that man don't you?", he asks.

he doesn't reply, probably too into his dark thoughts to spare him a glance. he doesn't mind that much because his attention leaves the man and goes to the attached kitchen, the titled walls much cleaner then their whole apartment combined.

there's something cooking on the rusty stove, something bubbling and brown. taemin feels his gaze on him, questioning. " it's windsor soup. kibum was making it today".

he only nods because taemin rarely is home to cook or even eat anything now and seeing him cooking something like this unfamiliar is nostalgic. it's from a time when they both were young and taemin's father had just died in their twisted line of duty; and taemin's mother used to work absurd hours to bring home money for herself, her son and a street rat she had dragged home once- during which her son cooked whatever jimin had stolen that week. those times when taemin hadn't fallen for the old man and had joined the very same gang his father had died in.

that time when the old man had insulted him and jimin had asked for him to fuck him breathless.

and taemin turns to look at him, the knife pressing into his skin and drawing blood. "but yes jimin, i will blast that bastard's head. whoever he might be". he hisses, getting up and moving to the kitchen and turning the faucet too sharply in his haste and letting too cold water to spray.

jimin wants to laugh, reach forward and stop the faucet from drenching the male. but instead he lets the older stop the stream himself and wait until everything is quiet again to speak. "just get in the tub, you rat".

taemin chuckles at the words, quickly pulling him closer until they're pressed flush against each other and sucking a wet spot on his neck. This time he laughs and taemin pulls away, flashing him a smile which is too young, too innocent, too love-struck for their lifestyle. It causes him to choke and lean forward to kiss him, teeth clacking together and mouth wet against the other. "i love you". jimin says but it only gets to taemin sobbing silently into his shoulder.

he's quiet and there's something nauseous brewing in his chest. it's seconds later it occurs to him that it's because of the smell and pink blood still dripping from taemin's hand. "the stove. turn it off".

the older follows his order, arms tightening around him and pushing him up, jimin wrapping his legs instinctively around his muscled torso. and they're quiet, the tap still dripping and the heavy noise of the factory is shaking the earth, there's pattering of feet upstairs and flurry of voices who are ready to start the day. jimin talks into his soft mouth, sighing as taemin pushes his tongue to lap at his mouth. it's so normal, right now in the morning with them lazily making out with a tub waiting for them. it's like the gang and the assassin isn't waiting for them in the afternoon sun. " go bath, your getting blood all over me".

he nuzzles into his neck, snickering and taemin jostles him slightly at that, groaning as he walked them towards the open bathroom. " and your too grown for me to pick you up now". jimin doesn't say that they both are still small in front of the others.

the water is cold, icy to the touch as they settle inside but taemin's are used to it and jimin gets busy with washing the dirt and rusting blood of the newly welted scars off his body. later when taemin's asleep in their mattress and snoring softly to himself, jimin would clean at the wounds with anesthetic and bandages and kiss at the purple bruises whispering i'm sorry, i'm sorry to him.

it's peaceful, silent except for the splashing water and taemin singing to himself. he could've been a singer, maybe even singing for the elite someday. jimin hates that he has to break it. "taemin what if the killer is him".

his jaw tightens and his eyes furrow and this taemin isn't his anymore. it's the gang's, harsh and unfamiliar and daunting. "…jimin what do you know?".

jimin's silent, averting his gaze- "jimin". his voice has turned dark now, harsh. he had rarely looked at jimin that way- and he refuses to answer him. there's a high chance taemin would call him liar, get angry and leave him alone in the tub. "jimin". he doesn't want that, walking on a thin line and waiting, begging for the sex to save them.

"no you'll hate me". he suddenly whines, surprising both of him. taemin sighs, urging him on. but jimin can't say it because he's afriad and he's a brat, taemin's brat at that.

taemin hand is harsh on his thigh, squeezing on the flesh and jimin mewls. he finally answer, the thigh hurts. " i went to visit your mother today and and-". he took a deep breath, his hands starting to shake again in taemin's hair. " -she was dead, on her bed and blood still fresh on her wound. like god taemin i should've not been there but i stumbled in your pervert along the-".

taemin scoffed, shrugging his hands off his hair. "that's why you believe he did it".

"…you said you won't be angry at me". he muttered, already feeling dejected from the scowl the older was supporting.  
"i never said that". he bit back.

jimin bit his lip, turning away to pick at the faded cup and filling it up, extending it towards him as a peace offering. "i saw him holding on a gun, your gun". he doesn't look at him, instead finding looking at his thighs much easier. he hears taemin's breath hitch up." it's missing from your mother's home right?".

the switch comes and he knows, he fucking knows.

taemin believes him, finally believes him and jimin takes it as a personal accomplishment. and when the next week comes and taemin's there looking even more haunted with jinki's blood on his hands and face, kibum and other's wounded heavily back at the warehouse and him as the only one left from the leading batch of the mafia, jimin takes him in his arms. and kisses him with a heart which is lighter then before, a mouth which is threatening to break into a smile and a m1911 which should've been in taemin's mother's side drawer hidden behind the mirror in their bathroom.

and when taemin says it back to him, those three words he had whispering in his ear for ages, he gladly comes undone under him.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave kudos and a comment bc did you expect that???  
> Bc I didn't and it still happened but like I let the flow guide me so I guess this is fine.


End file.
